If you can and you can be happy for them for what are they are achieving .... it's incredibly humbling. In fact, it's transformational.
There is a quote by Bob Marley that a good friend sent to me that goes "... truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."
Apparently, I'm an over-achiever at everything, including finding the right people worth suffering for.
It's human to want to connect, to want to belong and to feel hurt when you don't. It's human to pursue our own unique paths and to let people come and go as you do. It's human to want some experiences to last and it's human to suffer when they don't.
But do you avoid this? Can you? What if it's exactly what you need to grow? What if there's nobody to blame and none of it went wrong? What if it's all so deliciously perfect exactly the way it is?
Another close friend and I were having a great conversation about authentic life. She pulled out her phone and showed me this video of an artist by the name of Marina Abramovic. Her exhibit featured her making eye contact with complete strangers. To her surprise, one of those strangers turned out to be what my friend described to me as "the love of her life". Apparently, previously they had parted, decidedly saying goodbye on the Great Wall of China and walking two different directions.
Here is the first time they had seen one another since and to our knowledge, the last.
The video captures so much of what it's like to be human. Many of us have our needs taken care of. We are not starving, we have roofs over our heads and are surrounded by support - and yet, this human condition entangles us in signature ways. We do meet exactly the right people at the right time and for reasons that can take a long time to understand but somehow serve as part of that rise to self actualization.
What I see here are two people who's lives came together for but a chapter that never left them the same. They must had been on many adventures since parting and yet what they had never went away.
Maybe because what they had, changed them both for the better in ways neither could understand until now.
What I see here are two people eating a big ol piece of humble pie, together, and perhaps as yet another way to be the right people at the right time for what they both needed on this day.
Good for them for this moment.
This is not an easy topic to discuss, I see part of my own story here and while I look at myself and say "nothing is missing, you have everything you need" I owe so much of who I am to people I have loved and who have loved me and who's lives, lessons and growth have strangely become entangled with my own and in ways that continue to punch and punch and punch ... but with each one, I get stronger and stronger. Is that what being human is really like? Is this what I signed up for? - Ha!!! oh geez ... I am cracking up!!! But, I humbly say - can a person who's purpose is to help others create possibilities and dream really do that authentically if they have not dared to dream in the face of pain themselves?
One might look at this story and say "what if they had found a way?"
I might have actually asked that question in the past, no - I would have asked that question in the past, but I look at it differently now.
I ask myself "what were they able to achieve because they came into one another's lives?" "How many more people were they able to impact?" "How much were they able to learn about themselves from the time they shared?" "How much did they grow and were they humble enough to be grateful for the growth they sparked in one another?" And look - they're still entangled and helping each other grow even after all these years.
I can't imagine that the gentleman walking in and sitting in the chair felt anything but proud of what she had accomplished in this exhibit. Why would he come if he wasn't loving towards her and her work? And why would he come if he didn't feel compelled from some deeper sense of purpose? They both created this moment and showed up to experience a new possibility.
Some connections between people are so potent, and so strong that their experiences together are not meant to look traditional, conventional or be placed into a box or even labeled. And some people are meant to do big things in this lifetime and sometimes loving someone is getting out of their way and holding love for them from a distance, all the while continuing to experience the great things life has to offer, including loving again.
When you can do that, and really feel it, the humbling nature of it can teach invaluable lessons in forgiveness, compassion and love ... if you are willing to let yourself learn the lesson.
There is no comparison between these two and no words of mine can actually describe what's really going on between them. What they share is obviously theirs. I feel tremendous love for both of them when watching this video and see my light in both of them. It's rare to see humble pie so preciously and authentically on display. These are the moments that mark the character of people and you'll never see them on Facebook or in an article about a person's work but could you imagine if achieving these experiences were as valued and validated by society as things or money or lifestyles of the rich and famous we are bombarded with every day? What a world that would be - to celebrate each other's authentic growth and on a massive scale!
So, you'll see many books about self help and see many adds for super foods you can eat but as my friend Jodene says in her Ted Talk, life's lessons are how you grow. Don't let these other distractions rob you of what's truly your unique opportunity to eat a piece of humble pie.
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