What if vulnerability and uncertainty are where our most positive emotions come from?
Creativity and innovation come through leaning into vulnerability and uncertainty.
Accountability and authenticity come through leaning into vulnerability and uncertainty.
And yet, we are so drawn to what is stable, known and predictable. To control or not to control? That is the question.
Today was a blend of heavy execution and complete and total surprises.
What I'm realizing, however, is that the surprises - especially the ones that require I be vulnerable and make that make me feel uncertain are exactly the ones I need to stay present for and muster up the courage to experience right there in the moment.
Part of my dream involves connection and belonging, and because you can't exactly control who you will connect with or where and what circumstances will give you that authentic sense of belonging I have to be aware of when a small trail towards one of those outcomes shows up and go ahead pursuing it - right there!
Had quite a unique opportunity to relate on a very personal level with my trainer today at the gym. The conversation required that I be vulnerable but I realized that by having it I would have a deeper connection to a man that I trust. He already pushes me beyond what I think possible. There is a surrender that happens with a trainer and the more I trust him the more he challenges my limits. I really like that kind of connection with people, especially when I can tell that they see me as something greater that my current state of being.
Another opportunity to connect, which was somewhat playful in nature, came from a guy at the gym today. The way he approached me, made me nervous. He was gorgeous. And so, I let myself be vulnerable and simply said - "you make me a little nervous but I like it". It was my honest feeling and it turned out to make the connection even better. The playful flirtation was delicious and I was proud of myself for speaking my truth. So there I had it, play, connection and pride - all in one experience. Have learned not to pursue certain types of connections where I spend regular and important periods of time so after the connection was over I took the opportunity to practice letting it go. It was part of today and Im grateful for it.
Loved the support I've been receiving from The Center for Appreciative Inquiry and Expert Company. Thank you for making me feel like I belong to the tribe.
Not every attempt to deploy connection and feel belonging was successful today. But, you know what - that also makes me feel vulnerable and uncertain and, again, this is exactly what I need to continue to grow and enhance what is possible in the future.
Much of the other parts of deploy were very ordinary in nature. Just a mixture of habits and decisions that feed my best self and personal growth. But Im feeling proud of them and that's what counts. Some of the most ordinary patterns in a day add up nicely over time.
A few of my favorites that I will share include; eating three healthy meals a day, taking a 30 minute nap, writing in my journal and taking a long walk with my dog. I didn't do any of this regularly (aside from journaling) last year and these simple additions to my routine really make a big difference.
Deploy Day 2 - Feeling pragmatically optimistic about the future and the energy I put into today was a nice accomplishment.
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