While on my morning walk I encountered a homeless person digging out of a trash can.
She said "for 10 years I keep coming back to the same trash can."
Not sure why she felt the need to share that but it left me wondering, what trash cans have I continue to come back to for the past 10 years? This question was quite delicious. And had me chuckling to myself.
When I reflect on all the moments that have caused me the most suffering over the last decade, a few themes came to mind.
- Over committing
- Over expecting
- Over working
- Over dwelling
- Over comparing
- and Over sharing
What is that right balance and how do you draw that line in the sand to clear the space for an authentic dream?
Authenticity is an interesting pursuit. It's as much about boundaries as it is about showing up and doing the right thing. One of my favorite affirmations comes from Brene Brown. She says, "Don't puff up, don't shrink - stand your sacred ground."
For me, putting life out there on social media felt sometimes like puffing up, especially when I knew I was seeking validation or doing any of the things listed above.
Then there's shrinking. Im realizing that part of my shift to Twitter was because I knew somehow that abandoning social media out right was a form of shrinking. Shifting my efforts to ones that felt more authentic, with clear intent (Appreciative Inquiry) and with better boundaries was a way to stand my sacred ground.
I like sharing content that considers the audience and the diversity of potential dreams out there. The vast majority of the world does not live in material wealth or even abundant love.
Does it make sense to puff up about material things, major accomplishments or expressions of love? Do these things inspire others to go for them or do they make others feel as if they are missing out?
My sacred ground on this topic is to recognize that the real moments in life that we share together as people and the love we share as people is something that happens in the moment. It's so precious and such a gift that to put it out for observation can in some ways tarnish it.
Today is Mother's day.
In the past I would have posted something to my Mother on Facebook, on my own page and tagging her in it. This would have been to genuinely wish her Happy Mother's Day but also to promote my character. What I've opted to do for my Mother this year is mine and hers and it is sacred ground.
Recently I did an inquiry with multiple friends, co-workers, family members and others asking them to tell me about experiences in the past in which I made a meaningful impact on their lives.
Was expecting to hear something about the content I had created on line over the last few years and was surprised to find that none of them had to with content on line at all.
There were key themes, themes that helped me understand how I should focus my energy when I want to support the people I come in contact with. I realized that my sacred ground had never been digital even though so much of my career and perceived achievements had been connected to something digital in my own mind. It is quite humbling to realize I was wrong.
Digital content has been about me. A crafted mirror to look at so that I could feel good about myself.
If using digital content to build myself up is something that worked in the past and can continue to work I'll need to be much more mindful about what it is I am doing.
So first, being honest - this content is about me. Second - knowing how and when to contribute to others and making the space and time to do it. Third - not blurring the lines, knowing what I am doing, when I am doing it and being deliberate about both.
This Twitter feed and this blog have become a new mirror - a place to stand my sacred ground. And while I do see an opportunity to connect with people that I can support through Twitter, it is not the use of Twitter that will actually do what I am truly capable of.
Things that make me want to shrink are not welcome here and when it feels like I am puffing up, that too is not welcome. I dream of a digital world where what we do together and how we do it, is sacred ground and respected this way.
When people appreciate me and express gratitude for my efforts, that is sacred ground. Receiving that compliment, shared through Twitter, is a good use of social media. Gratitude is a great digital practice. Expressing gratitude for one's Mother through social media feels off to me. But that's just me.
When I ask questions that expand possibility, that is sacred ground.
When I support another's dream, that is sacred ground.
When I trust and collaborate with the people that feels right at the right time, that is sacred ground.
When I seek approval, that is shrinking.
When I seek validation, that is shrinking.
When I compare myself to others, that is shrinking.
When I share inauthentically, that is shrinking.
When I share everything that is happening, all of the time, that is puffing up.
When I actively pursue follow counts, that is puffing up.
When I actively pursue retweets or favorites, that is puffing up.
There is a certain measure of faith that comes with the pursuit of a dream. This faith delivers results, guide posts and indicators of the path but not in ways that are digitally quantifiable. This homeless woman and her question for example, to me that question was an indicator that I am on my path. To open and aware of those moments in what ever way they show up is one of my most important sacred grounds.
To have been so wrong about so much and to course correct in response to that has felt so right for me in this moment and on this particular journey.
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