Today was very relaxing. I ventured out not knowing what I would see or where I would end up. At one point I walked by a movie theatre and noticed a film playing called 'Heaven Is Real'.
Didn't know a thing about it and hadn't seen the trailer. I purchased a ticket and settled into an air conditioned theatre all by myself to take in the picture.
What a timely movie to watch. Won't give away any of the story but I will share that the depiction of family, faith and the challenge of learning from unplanned and painful circumstances resonated with me whole heartedly. I found myself laughing and crying in a dark theatre, all alone and so content to be doing so.
The notion of believing in heaven, or a life after death, is one I am very familiar with from my upbringing. The way this concept was depicted in this particular film was so innocent and pure and left me feeling acknowledged and un-alone in the areas of my life that are riddled with ambiguity and constant questioning.
There's something about connecting to a bigger picture and feeling connected to that picture that washes away so much of the stress and worry associated with meaningless and trivial pursuits and worries about the people who come and go from my life year after year.
This small child in the film (and this is known from the trailer which I have since watched) visited heaven while on the operating table. When he pulled through he began to tell his Father what he saw in heaven. What he shared challenged the faith of his parents and ultimately an entire community, and because it was so simple and genuine what he experienced.
Sometimes the simplicity of what we really need and the ways to go about meeting those needs is incredibly disruptive when considering all of the work and pressures we place on ourselves to simply gain a measure of control, comfort or sense of security.
The tiniest things make me laugh so hard right now. The tiniest things make me smile. I remember being in this space a few years ago and I know exactly what happened to take me out of it.
This film, and the events of today in general, grounded me a bit on the heals of quite the adventurous and stimulating ventures of the day prior.
There is a balance of venture and adventure and quiet and purpose and adding value to the lives of others that one cares about. Even though I am in deploy and a big part of that is about executing a plan, Im finding that if there is one thing to keep in mind while in this space it is to be open to what ever comes while holding tightly to a dream.
Small moments.
A new person, a new conversation, a familiar space or familiar practice - each of these are their own firsts - every time. It's kinda about letting it all be fresh and new ... and did I mention laughing? That exchange between two people, when you're just there with that person, is so tingly. I love hearing where people are at. Practicing not judging. If it feels right - I gather pieces of information that help me understand their purpose. If it feels right - I just enjoy them. If it feels right - I practice compassion. If it feels right - I practice letting them go. All people give me the opportunity to practice something.
And when its really special, you see yourself in the eyes of another person. You relate on a level that makes you feel like you are not alone. And when it's even more special, you see how you can help that person with what ever it is they are trying to do - and if it's aligned with who you are - you help.
With each of these moments they are a form of settling. Settling into the moment and realizing that the next will be even more and the next even more. Every day is settling and accepting and being pragmatically optimistic that tomorrow will, again, be more than you thought possible.
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